Letting It Go

She lay completely still, tired..hungry..and in pain. And even though her tough massive body was covered in fur she shivered every now and then. Whimpering, the silver wolf shifted to find a better position to lay in. But moving only aggravated her wound and caused it to start bleeding again. Huffing, the wolf flopped her head back down on the cold floor of the condemned building. She had been here for the past two days, trying to get her strength back and gather her thoughts. Her eyes blinked away tears as her gaping wound throbbed.
Layla sighed and closed her eyes again. She figured that maybe going back to sleep would be an escape from her pain. But her stomach growled loudly again and she slowly lifted her upper body up on her strong forepaws. Luckily she had used this building before and she had stashed away a few snacks just in case. Wincing with every step, the silver wolf dragged herself over to the other end of the room where a cardboard box lay on its side. Spilling out onto the floor was a variety of bagged chips, cookies and crackers, and a few small cake-like snacks. Layla, much too tired to shift into her humanoid form, simply plopped herself down by the box and ripped open a few bags and gobbled down some cookies.
“…dammit..” Layla grumbled to herself. She licked the crumbs off of her paws and lay her head down again. It was that annoying little fairy’s fault she was in this condition, not able to hunt for food properly. If she didn’t heal soon she’d slip into starvation and her instincts would completely take over. As tough and bad as she was, even Layla hated her ‘Bloodlust’ state. She has no control of her actions and can’t remember what happens. As far as she knew, Jez had slipped into this deadly state only once. Layla had witnessed it, saw the girl go tearing off after a small herd of deer. The silver wolf had neglected to tell her, knowing how much the girl liked animals and know that if she knew what had happened Jez would have been depressed.
Layla sighed and closed her eyes, sleep beginning to overcome her. She didn’t want to think about anything anymore. But she did have flashing images of her life fill her brain as she drifted off to sleep. Just what had gone wrong in her life to make her the way she was?
…………………………
“…yipe yipe yipe!” The young pup screamed and retreated a few more yards as the group advanced on her. Five humans, all males in their teens laughed and brandished their weapons of bats, broken planks or whatever else they could find. The silver wolf pup, only six years old had found herself in a deadly situation. She’d only lashed out at them because they wouldn’t stop pestering her, pulling her tail and ears. One of the humans was bleeding from a deep gash in their hand. He clutched it in pain while his friends continued to corner the poor wolf pup in a dead-end alley. Layla herself injured from a broken rib as she was kicked.
“Dumb animal! You’re gonna pay for this bite. You’ll have you put to sleep, won’t we boys?” The other laughed maniacally and lunged forward. Layla scrambled backwards but hit the wall behind her and she found herself pinned to the ground. She hollered and screamed as loud as she could, gnashing her teeth but coming in contact with nothing. Just as she was about to be pummeled to death a flash of grey and black fur came clawing its way through the group, as well as a second flash of bluish fur..her mother and father. As soon as she was released Layla crawled away and hid in a corner, watching the chaos ensue before her as her parent shooed the humans away.
-----------------------------
That was her first horrible encounter with the human race. And it seemed that things only got worse. When she was old enough to attend middle and highschool, the torment only increased. She, along with maybe a dozen of her kind, went to schools that were mostly human. Where she comes from, and at that particular time, wolves and humans didn’t get along so well. And being outnumbered in school only seemed to complicate matters. Layla wasn’t anything like what she is today. Back then, she was actually a shy withdrawn girl. She preferred to keep to herself, do her work and keep quiet. But the constant torment and teasing from her human peers made that rather hard. Pushed around, personal property stolen from her, the girl got more and more irritated.
It was against the law for any wolf to harm a human, and vice versa. But that didn’t stop both sides from engaging in fights. Gangs were common and at some times out of control.  By the time Layla had left highschool, she was a very bitter girl. She had learned to hate the human race, especially after what happened to her in her junior year. Going home from an afterschool study session, the silver haired wolf girl was followed. For several blocks she looked over her shoulder to see the large group inching closer and closer to her. She had finally stopped to confront them, convinced of her strength now. Preferring to not shift to her wolf form out in the open she growled at her stalkers and warned them she’d kill then if they came any closer. It seemed the work, because they backed off. Layla had run from them then, not stopping until she got close to her house where she lived alone; both her parents had been killed in a car accident a year prior and she had no other family. She had known this area very well, and every day she took a short-cut through an alley to get to her apartment above a convenience store.
Today was no different..except today her escape had been cut off. Her superior sense of smell picked up the humans before she saw them. They appeared at the end of the alley, and when the girl backtracked to go the way she came, more humans blocked her way. Normally, one adult sized wolf was more than enough to handle a couple humans. But the sheer number of them and the cramped space only hindered Layla’s wolf form’s movement. And despite her avid snarling, growling and mock charges…the humans had her completely surrounded and outnumbered. She seriously injured four of them before she finally found herself pinned to the ground, patches of her fur shaved off to expose skin, beaten and abused to the point she could no longer fight back or move.
When she woke up, it was the middle of the night and very cold. She used what little strength she had to at least drag her bruised body behind a dumpster to block the wind from her partially naked form. It took her two days to feel well enough to shift back to her humanoid form and get into her apartment. The girl wondered what she had done to receive such a heartless torment. She could only think it may have had something to do with her verbal and physical lashings out at one of the human boys from school…Later she would find out that he was a member of one of the most notorious gangs in the area. She was lucky to be alive.
Layla herself had joined a gang shortly after leaving school, finding comfort and security amongst her own kind. The silver wolf spent her time toughening up even more, going to gyms and whatnot to make herself stronger. She even took some basic martial arts to ensure that she would never be assaulted again. Layla quickly gained respect from her gang members, climbing up the ranks until finally, after challenging the leader to a traditional wolf fight, she became leader. No one questioned her, in fear that she would exile them from the pack. Layla earned the nickname ‘Silver Striker’ as well, and she soon changed the name of the gang to ‘Strikers Wolves’
The following year after Layla’s ascension to gang leader, she met a red-haired wolf girl..rather, saved her from one of the rival gangs. She found the girl interesting, wasn’t sure why herself, but something about the red-haired girl drew her attention. Her name was Jez, a shy wolf girl was artistic and musical talent who was quiet but very friendly once you got to know her. It was the start of a great friendship between Layla and this new red-head.
The silver wolf liked to spend her time around Jez more than any other gang member, even attempted to draw with her; Layla wasn’t the best artist, but Jez found it amusing that she tried. The two even engaged in playful roughhousing…rather Layla would sneak up behind the red-head, tackle her down and tickle her mercilessly until she cried for surrender. Jez didn’t mind the playfulness really, she enjoyed it and sometimes even felt neglected when Layla left her alone for too long. Their friendship grew rather close, even sharing a few intimate moments here and there. But the only thing these two friends just couldn’t agree to, was the worthiness of the human race.  
It was raining the day that the two best friends would split and go their separate ways. Layla was in a particularly rotten mood. It seemed that no matter where she went that day she kept getting sass from humans. This day, she had been pushed too far. One human pushed her over the edge..and she attacked him, physically attacked him. Her human form by this time was very strong, she had made sure of that. But her wolf form was even stronger and had grown considerably. By wolf standards, Layla was a giant. Standing next to a human of average height she would stand at waist and torso level from her shoulders. Her head alone was massive and filled with powerful jaw muscles. A forceful bite from her jaws and razor-sharp fangs could snap a human’s limb clean in half…And that is exactly what she did. Layla broke both of his arms, a leg and inflicted deep gashes with her sharp claws. And she would have clamped her jaws around his neck and chocked the life out of him…had it not been for Jez.
The red-haired girl hated violence, tried to avoid it whenever she could. But she just couldn’t stand by and watch a human life snuffed out in front of her. She leapt out into the battlefield and knocked the silver wolf away, standing firmly between her and the severally mauled human.
“Enough, Layla! Please stop this…!” Jez had pleaded. But Layla was not hearing any of that. Enraged in having been challenged by someone she thought was her friend, the larger wolf re-directed her anger at Jez, attacking her. The red-head had no choice but to fight back, doing her best to ward her former friend off and lead her away from the human. But she herself had gotten scratches and painful bites from the angry silver wolf. Jez wasn’t much in the strength department, but she was faster than her opponent. Layla was the opposite, sacrificing speed for strength. But in such closed quarters, Jez wasn’t as fast as she needed to be. In a final lunge, Layla opened her jaws wide and went for Jez’s throat, but the girl dodged her attack and swiped her claws across the other wolf’s face. This is how Layla received the running scar down the left side of her face.
Layla hadn’t bothered to chase after Jez as she retreated, at least not right away. She wanted to nurse her wounds. But she would hold a deadly grudge against her former best friend and one day get her revenge…
-------------------
Jolting awake, the silver wolf shivered and opened her eyes. It was dark out now, and a chilly breeze was wafting along the abandoned building floor. She huffed and reached over with her paw to pull some snacks into easy reach of her mouth. Layla nibbled on a cake, then turned away, huffing again and curled up as best she could. Her wound throbbed a little, but seemed to have closed again. She glared at it…She knew she got off lucky. The fairy could have killed her…
“I don’t get you, woman…” Layla said to no one. She was of course, talking about Jez. She was in odd company now, friends with not only humans but fairies. The silver wolf was tired. Not from being hurt, bruised both mentally and physically, but tired of being angry..tired of fighting, just plain tired. She couldn’t go back to her gang now, her large wound and pitiful state having lost her the respect of her peers. She didn’t even accept the challenge from a large black-furred female wolf, preferring to run away and heal. So now..she had no one. And the thought of being completely alone in the world only made her more upset.
“I give up…I don’t want to do this anymore…” Layla grumbled to herself as she slowly began to drift off to sleep. She didn’t care about anything…she just wanted to heal her body. And…she wanted to just let it go, let all of it go. She wasn’t expecting to be forgiven, at least not right away. But she just didn’t feel like fighting anymore. Layla would stay at the condemned building for a few more days before leaving and making her way back to her own house. And she’d fight with herself on whether or not she should return to the place she first met that fairy girl and attempt to apologize. She was still a little angry about the wound she received from her, but she’d forgive her for it eventually too. Layla was more interested in trying to rekindle her friendship with Jez. It’d be hard considering the things the silver wolf had done, but the girl had to try if she even hoped the red-head would forgive her. She had to start somewhere.
She wondered what was going to be in store of her once she made her way back to Claris Manor…